Why Do I Need to Wait 6 Weeks After Birth to Have Sex?

Content warning: this article talks about sexual intercourse in anatomical and in terminology that some people might find graphic.

Everyone knows you are supposed to wait the full six weeks after birth to have sex again, but why? Is it really important or is it just something we say? Note: the whole wait at least six weeks pertains mostly to penetrative sex, but there are exceptions that we’ll detail below.

First things first-yes, it is a real thing based on years of ample evidence; however, it is simply a minimum. It is not a definitive line. But what if I am ready before then? Hold your horses-we are getting there! Anyway, this minimum exists because of the definition of the postpartum period. In the subacute postpartum period, which lasts 2-6 weeks after birth, the body is healing. Due to the wide time-frame, doctors have gone with the long-end of the range in their recommendations of when to recommence sexual intercourse. The safest bet, if you will.

But…because of insurance and red-tape policies, most people don’t see their OB more than once after birth. And they see them at…you guessed it, 6 weeks postpartum. There is some major talk among the medical community and birth activists that would make sweeping policy and social-cultural shifts so that birthing people could see their doctor more frequently during the postpartum period. Even still, we know that it takes the body, particularly the uterus some weeks to heal.

So, even if you feel good, most medical professionals are gonna stick to their 6 week recommendation to allot ample time for healing, even if they do see you at 2 weeks!

Okay, but why do I (really) need to wait for the full six weeks to be over?

There are a few risks associated with having sex while in the subacute postpartum period. The risks are higher with penetrative sex, whether that is a penis, fingers, or toys. It makes sense. Anything that enters the vagina poses additional risk since bacteria has been given easy access. That’s why bathing in tubs, tampons, and menstrual cups are also discouraged postpartum.

Where does the bacteria go? Is it really that dangerous?

There are plenty of stories of people engaging in sex before the medical “go ahead” and being totally fine. That said, as an educator, I have to stick to the recommendations. The risk is that normal bacteria in semen or on fingers can essentially cause a major infection because you have an open wound in your uterus. Yes, an open wound! Remember that beautiful placenta that gave your baby food and life? It left a big ole bloody mess. If bacteria lodges in there, it can cause an infection quickly. Like any other open wound, it needs to scab, and heal.

Okay, what about other ways to have sex?

I mean, you can still be intimate and get creative, but it is so important that you are reducing any chance of bacteria entering the vagina. One key, but not full-proof sign to look for is your lochia, or bleeding. Even if it is light, it is an indication that you are still healing, and thus, still at risk of infection. And yes, oral sex is still risky because saliva contains bacteria.

Are there any other risks beside infection?

That really depends on your birth, but yes, there is! There is a risk of pelvic floor injury if you had any tearing or additional swelling. *Honestly, I think this is really important as part of normal postpartum evaluations because pelvic floor dysfunction isn’t always severe, but I digress. There is also risk of…pregnancy. While it is possible to start contraception immediately after birth, a large percentage of people wait until the six week appointment. It is totally possible to still be bleeding and ovulate, and then get pregnant.

So I guess waiting is probably the safest bet?

Yea! It can be hard (no pun intended) but it is the safest choice physically. However, if it happens, it happens. Just be sure to be honest with your doc and call right away if you begin having a temperature or fever (anytime postpartum actually).

Happy healing!

P.S. Join us for our postpartum series to heal, recover, and bond with your baby.