It’s finally almost the end of the school year. Most places have a little around a month to go, but it feels like forever for many because distance learning is not quite the same. Between working from home, teaching your child, keeping the house kinda together, and doing the day-to-day while trying to plan the summer and fall, stress might be running high. And right behind it? Tense relationships in the home. You know you have to get that stress under control and on the down low so your child can thrive, or at least finish this year in one piece.

So how can you manage stress crisis schooling?

• First and foremost, recognize that the way you are doing school right now is not the norm for most homeschoolers or planned distance learners. This is important because you can’t be expected to know what you’re doing, how to do it, etc. when you were unfairly thrown into this with little guidance or support. Accept that it is okay if you are lost. If you planned to utilize public school, you rightly expected your child to be at school. That’s not to say you’ve not been previously involved with their learning, but you weren’t solely responsible for all instruction, particularly instruction done a specific way…which brings me to…

• You are probably expected to administer the school’s heavy curriculum at home, which is stressful. It’s not well-adapted to distance situations nor individual settings. It is normal if your child isn’t engaged with the work or is exhausted after two to three hours. It isn’t a natural inclination for learners, even adult ones, to sit through hours of lecture or computer-based learning. Allow your child to work at their pace, take breaks, play, draw, talk, etc. If you’re working, try to plan your own breaks to coincide. You need a break too-to walk and breathe away from the screen…

• Know that years of evidence suggest that learning happens multiple ways; not just via lectures and workbooks. Set up a learning-rich environment. Do not fret this! It is super easy! It is okay if your kiddo isn’t at their desk all day or working on worksheets and educators agree on this.

• Communicate your limits to your child’s teacher and come up with a realistic plan together. Many teachers are also overwhelmed and are more than happy to work with you. The last thing they want is a stressed-out family.

• Talk to people who have been homeschooling to get a clearer picture of what learning at home actually looks like. I bet you’ll be surprised that it is hard on them/us too! Not being able to access the parks, libraries, or museums is a drag.

• Vent! Vent on Facebook. Allow yourself to get all the feels out. Holding it in literally causes discomfort.

• Bend the rules. There are fantastic educational programs on YouTube and Netflix. There are great websites and apps that help your kiddo learn and take the pressure off of you.

• Practice your own self-care. It doesn’t have to be long or complicated. Just twenty-thirty minutes of movement, or a quiet bath everyday can do wonders for your stress levels.

• Utilize tele-therapy options. There are great therapists who will talk via phone!

• Take one deep breath every hour. That’s it. But that extra oxygen tells your brain “it’s ok”.

• Practice releasing control. This is hard but once we can accept we can only do what we can and nothing more, our mindset shifts and our body changes.

• Lastly, do fun things together. Whether you eat a cake for breakfast or simply sing Frozen songs together, try to see a sliver of a silver lining. (note: you are still valid to be frustrated by the situation!)

I hope these tips are practical and helpful for those of you trying to get through this hell that is quarantine. If you have questions, or would like further counsel, send me an email at growhappyfamily@gmail.com and we can set up a time to talk!

With love,

Heather