Chores are a teen’s worst nemesis. Alas, they must get done. In this episode, we talk about how chores relate to personal values, prepare us for adulthood, and convey to our families that we care about them. We also do a journaling activity with three prompts that encourages us to reframe chores and strategize how to communicate our need for assistance and understanding as we are still learning about this adult life skills thing. This episode ends with empowering affirmations that will help your teen see they are capable, responsible, and organized. 

Click below for transcript.

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Transcript

Welcome to curious minds kind hearts, Heather here. And I'm so glad that you are here before we get started. Please consider sharing this podcast or becoming a patron for special bonuses. For example, in today's episode, if you're a patron, you'll receive a free little journal workbook to go along with the podcast.

I appreciate your listening and your support. This episode is made for tweens and teens, especially for those who have trouble with chores. Okay. Let's begin. Mom. Dad. I don't know where my notebook is. I can't find my favorite socks. And now my video game is lost. I think it was stolen. Well, I told you to do your chores and make sure your stuff was put away.

Does this sound like you. Do you feel like your things are constantly getting lost? And the next thing you know, you are super frustrated in your day, seems like it's ruined.

Yeah, it can be really tough when our own actions or lack of action messes up our day. It is easy to blame others after all. You are still growing up and learning the ropes of life. You're not quite a kid and you're not quite an adult. But let's think about those favorite socks for a moment. And before we go on, trust me, I do believe there is a sock monster, but I digress.

Anyway. You know, the reason your thing seemed to be in the wrong place and you already deep down know why you weren't parents seem to not be as upset as you. You might be thinking. Yeah, because they're old and just don't get it. But I promise they do. You know, those chores they ask you to do. Whether they are chores that help the family as a whole or chores that are your own, like picking up your room.

You know which ones I'm talking about, right. Well, your parents, aren't asking you, just because think about those socks. How do you feel when you were trying to get ready in the morning and are so rushed because you cannot find a thing and then you have to run out of the house without breakfast, or even a moment to just chill before your day begins.

Do you feel stressed? Overwhelmed. Over it. Now think about how your parents or siblings feel, especially if they got unfairly blamed or if they felt sad and upset with you. Consider how they might feel about their role as parents trying to instill values and give you the skills needed for adulthood.

How might they feel. Imagine you were trying to teach your best friend something really important. Or important to you? And they just didn't care or didn't do it. What kinds of thoughts might you have?

Would you think they are responsible? What if they said they were definitely going to do a favor, you asked of them and then didn't. What'd you think they have integrity?

Not only would you be hurt? You might have thoughts about what you were doing wrong to right. You see. You didn't ask your friend just because you had a purpose, right? Chores have a purpose too. Their practice for when you were out on your own and you don't have anyone to be on your back. They help your family.

A collaborative unit run smoothly. So you can spend more time doing things that you like and enjoy. They help you develop responsibility, organization skills and integrity. And these are so important for many things. In life. Can you think of any.

Chores are not fun. It's true. Unless you like vacuuming. Of course that's the best. If you ask me. But they do serve a purpose. It is okay to rant and vent about how boring on fun and inconvenient tours are. Trust me, I do it too. Getting it out can be cathartic. But it has to be done. So let's strategize.

I work in your journal with me over this next part.

If you have a phone and you're riding in a car, you can use that to. So thinking about this next question. What do I dislike most about chores? I have a few options for you, but I'm going to let you think on this for just a moment. What do I dislike most about chores?

Okay. Here's some of my options. That I can think of why I don't like tours. Not knowing where or when to start. Should you do in the morning and the evening? If you have a really messy room, where do you even begin with the garbage, with the laundry? That can be really overwhelming.

Another reason could be they take you away from other fun things. You might prefer to be on discord, chatting with friends. At the skate park. Or watching TV. I'll admit those things are much more fun than folding laundry.

Maybe you dislike chores because you feel like you're not doing them right. And parents, if you're listening, this part's really important for you too. When somebody does something, especially our kids and our teens. And they give their best effort. Let's focus on that and not focus on what they did wrong.

Nobody wants to be told how they did something wrong, like folding towels, right. And I say that because I am guilty of that. And lastly, something else you write this down. Is there something else that you dislike most about chores that I haven't said, but you can think of immediately.

Okay, good. Writing this out will help you talk with your parents and figure out a solution. Let's continue. Here's the second question. And again, you can put this in the notes in your phone. You can write it in a journal or you can use our journal. That's on our Patrion.

What is my rank of chores, meaning which do I like most and which do I like least. How can I work with my parents on ensuring that I get done? What I need to get done? So thinking about all the chores in your house. And it's funny because every family has similar chores like dishes, laundry. Garbage.

But every family is unique too. So you might have additional chores that another family doesn't, for instance, we don't have a pet, but most of my friends have a pet. And therefore they have the chore of taking care of their pet. So thinking about the chores that you have in your family. What is your rank? What do you like to do most or.

Rather the ones that bother you least. And what do you really dislike doing? Let's rank them. So I'm going to be quiet for a minute, so you can put a list and you can rank them from one to 10 or one to 15, however many you have, right. Would you like most in which you like least.

Fantastic. You can always go back to this later. But now the second part of that question was how can I work with my parents on ensuring that I get done? What I need to get done? What do you think you can do a conversation? Conversations, hint by the way are always helpful. Maybe you can communicate with your parents. Hey mom, I really, really dislike doing this particular tour all the time. Is there a way that we can alternate.

Is there a way my siblings and I can work together on taking turns. Is there a way I can do this chore in the morning rather than the evening? Let's call it a compromise. And the more you communicate with your parents, especially after ranking your tours and becoming self-aware. Then the easier this will become.

Alrighty. And our last question that I want you to think of. What qualities and values to, I wish to have that I think is part of being a good person. So what qualities and values do you think are important? Do you think make a person a good person?

List those qualities. Here's some examples. Being responsible. Being self-aware. Being prepared. Having integrity. Being dependable. And there are so many more, what are values that you feel are important for you to possess?

I bet your list is fantastic.

Alrighty. So let's move on. We have been on a journey here, so let's go back to the beginning. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in.

Imagine that you did put your video game away in its right place.

Imagine that you washed and put away your favorite socks and pulled them out of your drawer.

Next. You walk into the kitchen and you have time to eat breakfast. And dally on your phone before you have to do the school thing.

Imagine how that looks.

How does it feel to leisurely move in the morning without your heart pounding, due to the rushed stress?

This is not impossible. My friend. Yeah, it takes work. But with a little practice and preparation and strategy, you can do it.

Before we say goodbye, let's repeat some affirmations together. With those values we mentioned. I've listed some values here that I think are important, but you can always create your own affirmation with your values as well. So together we're going to practice these. It's a great way to know how valuable you are and what you are capable of.

So take a deep breath in and say with me, I am a person of integrity. I do what I say I will do. And we'll repeat it one time. I am a person of integrity. I do what I say I will do. Deep breath.

Responsibility is within me. I see what needs doing and I act. Let's repeat that. Responsibility is within me. I see what needs doing and I act.

Deep breath again.

Organization will become easier with committed practice.

Organization will become easier with committed practice.

I hope these affirmations are helpful for you. And I encourage you to take the values that you have thought of that are important to you and create your own affirmations that will help you live by those values, including in daily life, such as your chores. Thank you for joining me here today. If you enjoyed.

This podcast. May I ask you to please write a review and share with your friends. If you feel so inclined, please consider becoming a patron as it will help us to continue publication of this podcast. Until next time, stay curious, stay kind.